November 9, 2009

I know, I know, it's been a while since I blogged. I haven't forgotton how though. I vow to be better about this blogging thing, if anything it's good for the soul.

My blog tonight is about loving someone with CF. I have to send out KUDOS to all those who love someone with CF. It's not an easy life and I struggle daily with the fact that I invited this person to be a part of my life. Was I selfish? Of course I'm told that the other person makes that choice to be in your life. I made sure all the facts were presented before anything of a serious nature developed but none the less it still feels like a selfish thing. I don't think any of us realize what we will have to live through and gloriously the longer we live now the more challenges there seems to be like transplant. I say glouriously because when I was diagnosed 41 years ago I was only expected to live to age 8. Imagine that and how hard it was on our parents! That's another blog though and one that will be written soon. Living with CF is hard enough for the person who has it and then add on the challenges of a relationship it adds up to alot of stress and sometimes alot of heartache. I've had my heart broken because of it, at least that's what I'm lead to believe. It's alot to swallow when your talking about long term relationships and marriage. Lots of implications emotionally, physically as well as financially. I can't even imagine making that decision myself, I didn't get the choice. I give my gratitude to those who have loved me because it took alot of themselves to do it and some of them couldn't and that's okay too. I can't have a resentment because they made the choice not to live it with me and at least they tried. I know now that my husband has what it takes and I'm blessed to the nth degree. He doesn't seem to blink an eyelash when it comes to the coughing, the pills, the breathing treatments, the pysical therapy, the endless IV's and hospitalizations and all the wonderful GI symptoms that CF brings along with it and even though transplant has brought a whole new set of problems he still doesn't blink an eyelash. It's like God made him especially for me and it's hard to believe that I'm that special. All my love's have shaped me to who I am today but he is ultimately who I was shaped to be with, I believe that with all my heart. I have too, what else can I believe? He has amazing courage and amazing faith and ANYONE who loves someone with CF has that courage and faith. Oh did I forget PATIENCE, yes patience as well. Believe it!!!!!!!

Peace & Love,

Amy