January 22, 2010

My first post of the year. I will try not to be so introspective this year and post on more of life and the daily occurences. I started with Hospice today and it was very inspiring. I sat in on the meeting while they review all the cases in thier care and then went to visit a patient in his 60's. We started talking and he told me he had a liver transplant a year ago and was diagnosed with bone cancer a month later. How unfair is that? To get a transplant and then have it basically taken away from you. He has chosen not to do chemo and is very much like me, a realist!! His caregiver is not so accepting which I am seeing that the caregiver has more difficulty alot of times rather than the patient. His acceptance along with mine of disease and chronic illness respectively is the hardest obstacle to get over. Once you have accepted that it is was it is you have won half the battle. He is brave in my eyes and with dignity is accepting his fate just as I have faced mine, one we must all face at some point in time. I know you guys think I'm brave but I think this experience is going to show me bravery in a way that I have never been able to see it.

I also should tell you about my experience last week. I witnessed an accident between scooter, motorcycle and mini-van. I was first on scene and the guy on the scooter was just mangled. I won't go into detail just suffice to say he was twisted and had a head injury even with a helmet on. I covered him and stayed with him until help arrived and encouraged him not to move. The image of that young man is still with me but I know now that he is going to be okay, still unconscious in the ICU and put back together again. Doctors are amazing, I so WISH that I had gone on in school to be one, a healer! I think I missed my calling.........no regrets though!! I helped people to have sight.

I went to Duke this week and I am starting to have GI problems from my CF which I really have never had to deal with so again with the challenge of living with CF. My lung function is down 5% but I feel strong and am breathing freely and not coughing so that's what counts, I try not to be so dependent on the numbers to tell me how I'm doing. I'll be just fine with whatever happens and I'll get through it just like I always do, I have FAITH and my spirituality!! It will be 8 years in March, can you believe it? CF, double lung transplant, chronic rejection and now with GI issues and well except for transplant and rejection it's been 43 years!! Blessed beyond belief!!

If you want to keep up with me all the time just get on FB (facebook), I'm totally religious about it, LOL!!!!!! Addicted is more like it, hey I can't be perfect! Until next time,

Peace & Love,

Amy